With all the pressure of Valentine’s Day, you may find yourself feeling dull in comparison. If you have kids, they are likely celebrating the events with parties and cute valentine candies. On social media, you may see photos of someone’s grand plans and romantic dinners. Maybe you’re feeling the pressure from advertisements touting the expectations of expensive gifts and getaways. Don’t let this discourage you. Loving and committing to someone is hard work and if you aren’t feeling it this Valentine’s Day, you’re not alone. Below are some suggestions that can help you survive the day and feel better about your relationship.
1. Readjust your expectations. Stop believing the fantasy that relationships are perfect. Everyone has ups and downs, and if you and your partner are both stressed out this Valentine’s Day, take a rain check. There is nothing wrong with celebrating another day of the week when your life feels less frazzled and more manageable.
2. Resolve a Valentine conflict with gratitude. Couples are stressed and that can lead to additional conflict. If you have an argument or have been arguing over Valentine’s Day, write each other a letter of gratitude and mention why you fell in love with them. When you focus on each other’s strengths and remember the sweet things they’ve done in the past, that helps minimize stress and change your perspective. 80% of arguments are due to overwhelming stress.
3. Cheer up someone else when you feel lonely. It’s easy to feel sorry for yourself if you’re alone on Valentine’s Day but feeling sorry for yourself usually makes you feel worse about the day. Instead, focus on one person having a rough day (or maybe you know someone who lost their loved one) and make their day special. It helps you get out of your own thoughts of sadness and help someone else through theirs.
4. When life’s pressure burn you out, create quiet romance at home. Life isn’t a Hallmark Channel, and you don’t have to be wined and dined to create romance. Work together to get the kids to bed and then share time connecting. That may be a late-night walk-and-talk with the dogs or sharing a bowl of popcorn while watching your favorite movie. You don’t need to go anywhere because being with them at home is a perfect way to celebrate Valentine’s Day.
It’s easy to get caught up in advertisements of what you should do for Valentine’s Day. However, if you’re feeling burned out and exhausted, taking the day to restore compassion for yourself and your partner is the greatest act of love you can show each other. You may not hear about it on the news and your social group may not be impressed with your plans, but your partner will feel loved and isn’t that the real reason we celebrate Valentine’s Day?