Pursuing dream while in relationship, 'in sync' from beginning

Hi Mary Jo,

How do I keep my girlfriend secure and happy while I’m still touring and pursuing my dream?

Thank you, Chris


You cannot truly keep her happy or secure. To a large extent, that is her responsibility. There are challenges with long-distance relationships and feelings of distrust and loneliness are going to manifest. Here are things you can do that will help with that.

  1. Keep your promises and call her when you said you would.
  2. Texting can be misunderstood or misinterpreted. Hearing your voice or seeing you in person, even via webcam, will be important.
  3. Plan and set a date to see her before you leave each time so you both have something to look forward to.
  4. Be careful what you post on social media. She will view all photos in a different context and perspective than you.
  5. Be supportive of her achieving her goals and interests in life.

Dating long-distance isn’t optimal, but it can work when both individuals focus on improving their communication skills.

Hi Mary Jo,

How do you allow for change in a relationship where you’ve been “in sync” since the beginning? How do we allow for different things to come along?

Thanks, Rene and Jessica

Dear Rene and Jessica,

The feeling of having someone understand you well and be in sync with you is great, but relationships require the ability to accommodate change. Offer your partner flexibility and room to grow in their interests or career, but be sure to stay true to your core values, beliefs and priorities.

If you go on to get married, your number one priority should be your relationship. Take time every day to communicate with each other. When you experience conflict, don’t view it as something negative but become curious about why your partner feels the way they do. Seek to understand, rather than judge, each other. This will add depth and security to your relationship.