Ask Mary Jo: Mother's Day

Hello Mary Jo,

What is a gift I can give to my mother that will be meaningful for Mother’s Day? She has done so much for me; I want to show her I really appreciate that.

Matthew

Matthew,

One of the gifts that means the most to moms is a shared experience with their child. She doesn’t need more stuff; she needs more quality time with you. Here are a few suggestions that will help her feel loved and special on Mother’s Day!

  1. Take her to Mother’s Day brunch at her favorite restaurant.
  2. Take her to Herman Park and stroll the McGovern Gardens. They are in full bloom, and she will enjoy seeing the beauty and smelling the fragrant flowers.
  3. If your mom is a sports fan, take her to an Astros, Rockets, or a Skeeters game.
  4. If your mother enjoys art, take her to the Art Museum.

It’s not where you go, but the fact that you dressed up, picked her up, and dedicated a day of your life to making her feel special that will leave a lasting memory. 

Hi Mary Jo,

How do you celebrate Mother’s Day after having an argument with your mom that left you feeling hurt?

Sasha

Sasha,

I would work on resolving the conflict prior to Mother’s Day if possible. The closer moms and daughters are, the more hurtful their arguments can be. After all, if anyone knows what’s hurtful, it’s your mom. The expectation that our moms would never hurt our feelings makes it more painful when she is hurtful or insensitive with her words. However, moms are human, and they make mistakes, too. I would consider these suggestions and explain why what she said hurts more deeply because you care about her opinion. From the time a mother has a child, that child teaches her; this is an opportunity for you to talk openly and honestly with your mom, deepening your relationship.

  1. Plan to talk to her, but take time to cool off and write down what you want to say.
  2. Don’t dwell on the argument itself or replay it in your mind. That makes it worse.
  3. You may be an adult and close to your mom, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t your parent. Moms want to protect their child; sometimes if they’re stressed or scared about your situation, they can react. They know exactly what to say to get your attention. When they’re stressed or anxious about something, they don’t always think to be sensitive. They only think of keeping you out of danger.
  4. Be aware that you may have said things that hurt her as well. Owning your part of the conflict will help her feel more understood.
  5. Remember the bigger picture. Moms and daughters share so many things in life; an argument can be a healthy sign that you’re close and confide in each other. Tell your mom the truth about how you feel, but don’t let this argument get in the way with the closeness the two of you have.