The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers recently reported that one-third of all divorce filings mention Facebook or social media posts. This doesn’t mean social media caused the divorce, but it does indicate that it contributed to the poor communication that happens prior to a divorce.
What you say about your partner on social media is crucial can either help your relationship thrive or tear it down. When you interact with exes or a partner feels betrayed, trust is broken. Discussing what can and cannot be posted on social media is an important talk to have with each other.
These five guidelines below are good talking points and will help you both feel secure and protected in your relationship.
- Respect your partner’s privacy. Before you post anything including a photo or a message, make sure you have your partner’s approval. What is okay for you may be confidential information for your partner. Your partner may be sensitive to the photo you want to post, so be a good friend and a loving partner and ask before you post.
- Don’t post what you don’t want your partner to see. If you’re nervous that your partner may not like what you post, don’t post it. Trust breaks down when we aren’t transparent, and social media makes it easy to hide things from each other. Stay true to your vows and commitments; if you know your partner will be hurt or angry with something you post, that’s a betrayal of your partner’s trust.
- Ask yourself why you want to post something. Sometimes we can do our own relationship coaching if we ask ourselves why we feel the need to post something. Are you trying to tell the world that you’re happy because you need their approval? Is the attention you’re getting from others liking your post the only attention you’re getting? Spending more time with your partner and less on social media improves can sometimes save your marriage.
- Share passwords and accounts when possible. Most partners don’t want to have to check up on their partner to see what they’re posting so sharing accounts keeps it more transparent. Talk to your partner directly. If they want their own account, share passwords with each other so neither partner feels like a snoop or suspicious if they read your posts. When you work together to secure your relationship trust, you’re making it clear that you both priorities your relationship.
- Set social media boundaries in your relationship. From the beginning, talk about how much you’ll each use social media. For example, agree to shut off your phones on date nights or post photos after your vacation rather than while you’re on it. Even if you both trust each other fully, talking about social media’s potential to harm your relationship is a wise conversation to have.
Social media helps us communicate to our friends and family about our life. It helps keep us connected and that makes it important. However, relationships thrive on time away from social media. The best way to help your posts bring out the best in your relationship is to spend more time with your partner than you do on social media posting.