Mother of Chris Stone describes her grief since Santa Fe shooting

Everyone handles grief differently, and it's important to remember that, although Saturday marks one year since the shooting, Santa Fe families have already had to go through many other important dates and holidays without their loved one, like Mother's Day just last weekend, Christmas, Thanksgiving and their birthdays.

Some parents, like Rosie Stone, have taken a proactive approach. Rosie lead the charge of the Safety Committee that works alongside the school board implementing changes. She also traveled to Washington, D.C. and to Austin to speak to legislators against bills involving school safety, mental health and, of course, other victims' families. 

Her son Chris Stone was 17 years old when he was shot and killed last year in the Santa Fe High School shooting.

"In the last year, at least 10 months of it, I spent in bed. I don't leave," Rosie said. "And I have friends and they take me out. but it's the ride home that makes it the saddest. Because I know I'm not going home to my son. I know my son's not there."

Although May 18 is a day that will always be associated with the horrific tragedy that shook the Santa Fe community, for Rosie, it's just another day she has to live without her son.

"When it all first started, my first reaction was, 'As soon as you open your eyes, this is a dream.' It was a bad dream, and I would get up and run to his room, open the door and the reality sets in."

Rosie started using the acronym CCC, which stands for "Chris. Courage. Change." She says it's the motto that gives her the strength to move forward each day.

"What makes it hard every day is that I honestly have no answers," she said. "A lot of people say, 'You know, Rosie, it's going to be healthier for you if you move on.' I agree, it is healthier. But what am I supposed to move on with? I have nothing."

Rosie says the grief hits her at the most unexpected times. But the most frustrating thing of all, is the on-going investigation that's prevented her from getting the closure she so desperately needs.

"I don't even have his autopsy report. I don't know anything. I can tell you everything about my son being born, but I can't tell you anything about how he died. All I have is speculations."

This year would have been Chris' senior year, which means he would have graduated next month. Rosie said Chris wanted to be a chemical operator. She says one of Rosie's friends plans on throwing a graduation party for him and his friends.