Making wedding plans can be stressful, especially if you’ve postponed your wedding or made changes to the guest list since the pandemic. If you find yourself feeling more and more anxious about your wedding plans or asking yourself if you really want to get married, you’re not alone. This is normal. It’s not a strange omen or sign that you should not get married. It’s typically "cold feet," which is pre-wedding jitters.
Pre-marriage jitters happen to most people, and they are common among happily married couples. These feelings tend to gradually dissipate after the wedding. I have listed several below as well as tips for how you can prevent them from disrupting your wedding plans.
1. Out of the blue, people begin noticing you more. Suddenly, people you may find attractive are flirting and noticing you more than ever. This can make you think you may be getting married too soon.
2. You and your fiancée are fighting more than normal. Wedding planning and financial concerns can cause stress and affect sleep. This can make you more irritable and less patient with your partner.
3. You’re having bad dreams or nightmares about your marriage. Whenever you are going through big changes, you feel increased stress. Our stress can manifest in our dreams.
4. You lose your sex drive. When your mind is full of things to do, and you’re feeling overwhelmed and stressed, sex gets pushed out of the way. High expectations about your wedding night adds stress and may kill your libido.
Tips for managing your pre-marriage jitters
· Scale back on the wedding. If you’ve planned a big wedding and are stressing about your financial capability to pay for it, there is no shame in scaling back and keeping it small and intimate.
· Try your stress management skills, deep breathing, exercise, and healthy eating. Part of being a responsible person is being emotionally mature so you can manage your moods. If you feel overwhelmed, take advantage of deep breathing, meditation, and getting exercise to help minimize stress.
· Think about honeymoon. Take your focus off the wedding day and possible mishaps. Focus on the fun you’ll have on your honeymoon.
· Get perspective by taking a couple of days off from making wedding plans. Taking a couple of days away from wedding plans will help you feel balanced and renew your energy after you’ve taken a break.
· Talk to your parents or marriage mentors. Being reminded that your parents and other happy couples felt pre-marriage jitters helps remind you that it isn’t a bad sign to have cold feet.
· Seek help with a marriage counselor. If you cannot relax and continue to feel as though you are making a mistake with your marriage, talking to a therapist can help determine if it’s something normal or a cause for concern.
Pre-wedding jitters do not indicate that your marriage is doomed. In fact, it’s a positive sign that you’re aware of the commitment you are entering. Keeping your focus on the marriage you are creating together and letting go of the idea of perfection on your wedding day can help you enjoy your wedding day and live your love.