Self-worth, compromise in relationships

Questions this week involve knowing and valuing your self-worth and determining how much is too much to compromise for the sake of a relationship you value.

Hey Mary Jo,

What do you say to a guy who says you’re not “good enough” to meet his mom because you don’t go to church enough?



Dear Roshan,

This sounds like a guy who is trying to avoid taking your relationship one step deeper. He wants to keep you on the peripheral of his life instead of making you part of his life. His mom may be judgmental, using quantity of church attendance as proof of one’s “goodness,” but if your boyfriend was really committed to you, he’d be willing to advocate and stand up to his mother about what makes you the special person you are to him. The majority of mothers want their child to be happy, and when they meet someone who makes their child feel loved they learn to accept their choice in partner.

Hi Mary Jo,

How much is too much to compromise to maintain a happy relationship?



Dear Fawn,

There are three major issues that cause most divorces and breakups in relationships; communication, finances and bedroom behavior. If you get along with these three and feel good about them, your relationship has a stable base. The other big value issues involve faith and children. There is no right or wrong way to negotiate these areas, but it is important there is compromise in them and a willingness to work together. The one thing you should never compromise is engaging in any action which violates your moral values, feelings or self-respect. These areas, when compromised, end up causing resentment, mistrust and disrespect, making the relationship miserable.