Planning a wedding anniversary, putting effort in relationship, what causes men to cheat

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Ask Mary Jo

We have great questions this week. Jayce needs ideas to celebrate his anniversary and Laura wants help with what she feels is a lack of effort on guys' part in relationships. Lastly, Laticia asks why all men cheat. My answers are below.

Dear Mary Jo,

I want to do something special for my wife for our wedding anniversary. What can I do?

Thanks,

Jayce

Dear Jayce,

Congratulations! I have a few ideas:

1. Go back to the first place you met your wife and have dinner there, and watch the video after dinner of your wedding.

2. Arrange a professional photo shoot and enjoy dinner after the shoot.

3. Make her a homemade anniversary card and list 25 reasons I love being married to you. She will keep that forever and reflect on it when she has bad days.

4. If you can afford it, plan a weekend away. It's more romantic if you make the plans and ask her to pack an overnight bag with one nice outfit. Arrange childcare as well. See if she can leave work early on Friday, pick her up and don't tell her where you're going. Be the man with the plan. The more you help her escape by planning everything, the more grateful, romantic and special she will feel.

Dear Mary Jo,

Why won't men put forth any effort in a relationship?

Thanks,

Laura

Dear Laura,

The effort one is willing to put into a relationship is dependent upon how much they value the relationship. It sounds as though you think most guys don't value relationships, and although it may be your perception it isn't true. If you continually date guys who don't value a relationship with you it may be because you have feelings that you are not worth valuing. It could be your perspective too. Maybe his view of showing effort or love to you is communicated through actions or tasks and what you need is affirmation of words or a commitment. You can't make someone value or love you, but you can value and love yourself enough to let go of someone who isn't willing to.

Dear Mary Jo,

Why do all men cheat?

Thanks,

Laticia

Dear Laticia,

Not all guys cheat, but for some women who watched their dad cheat, as well as every guy they dated, it may seem that way. When you expect guys to cheat you attract those types no matter what your words say. Stop hanging out and making yourself available for guys who want hookups instead of relationships. Have a vision for yourself that is independent of having a man, and create a life you love. When you attract a guy who wants to be part of your life and has respect for you, he won't risk losing you.