HOUSTON - Dating apps are designed to help people find “ the one”, but they're turning the whole thing into a game. Dr. Jaye Derrick, Associate Professor in social psychology at the University of Houston offers this advice:
People use the apps to find love and unfortunately, many people use them too frequently and they burn out. They don't have enough time to look at each individual picture. They get so used to swiping, that they stop looking at people carefully and they basically just -- they burn out. They stop shopping.
The very first thing that you need to do is decide what you are looking for. So there's no reason to go on an app and promote something you don't want. If you want a long-term relationship, that's what you should be looking for. If you want a short term relationship, that's what you should be looking for. In some ways, that's really key to helping people find the type of relationship they want.
There is a problem sometimes with some people behaving badly. One way to get around that is to put out the right vibes. You want people to know what you are looking for, but unfortunately, to some people, that doesn't matter. One thing that I want everyone to know is that it’s not your fault. If someone says something nasty to you, there are people who like to troll. There's this phenomenon of individual -- people feel anonymous online and can say whatever they want without repercussions. So that's just the way that it is. It's not everyone. It's nothing about you. Just move on and find someone else who has the same interests as you.
Don't expect to have success overnight, how do we find that long-term success? Again, one thing is how you define success. Are you looking for a short term relationship or a long-term relationship? That determines your strategy. But also what you need to do. The biggest thing I would say is don't lie. There's actually evidence showing that people who post realistic pictures of themselves or even who show a flaw, maybe if you're balding or maybe if you're overweight, showing that rather than trying to hide, it is seen as honest and you're more likely to get people who are interested in you and more people will contact you because you're perceived to be more approachable.