We're all influencers to someone because we're all mentoring. Parents influence children, and teachers' mentor and influence students. There are very few parents who haven't experienced a child telling them the correct answer was something their teacher had said and not what their parent had. We want our children to follow good mentors and, therefore, embrace influencers for our children.
However, if you're an adult, and social media influencers have become your primary influencer, you may be doing more harm than good for yourself. Instagram influencers and other social media platforms consider how you look, how you dress, and where you travel to be important status markers and happiness indicators. When you compare your life to the standards of the influencers, it can leave you feeling as though you can't measure up.
Nowhere is the discrepancy more blatant than in the dating world. If you use Instagram influencers for your primary mentor of who you should date, you'll look for the wrong things and the end result will be a superficial, convenient, anxious-driven and high drama relationship. Below are suggestions of how you can take what you see on social media platforms and compare them to what a licensed intimacy relationship psychotherapist advises.
- Be less impressed with your date's followers, and more impressed with how they treat others online and off. How do they treat people who can't help them get ahead?
- Be less impressed with their material "stuff" and more impressed with what they do to give back to the community. Do they volunteer? That's impressive!
- Be less impressed with the name brands they dress with or the sponsored face creams and products. Be more impressed with what they value in others.
- Be less impressed with their visions or dreams and more impressed with the actions they are taking toward achieving their purpose or mission.
- Be less impressed with how they talk about themselves and their success and more impressed with how they treat their parents and siblings.
- Be less impressed with where they take you to dinner and more impressed with whether or not they have a budget and savings account. Are they financially responsible?
Social media is fun and creative, but it's not healthy if you make your standard of beauty or love based on what you see bloggers or influencers doing. Many influencers are driven to get attention, and attention is fueled by insecurity. The most amazing parts of you are the parts social media are blinded by -how compassionate, loving, and forgiving you are. These are the sacred parts of you that keep a relationship vital and alive. When you are in a loving relationship, you don't need to attract additional attention to yourself, you have enough.