Divorces are painful, and the people going through them are confused, angry, frustrated, and overwhelmed. You’re on a roller coaster of feelings and posting how you feel on social media about your divorce or your ex is never a good idea. You may feel as though the people seeing it are your friends, but many people reading your tragic details are not true friends, and nothing is perfectly private on social media. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and other social media posts are often used as evidence during a divorce. If you have older children and they see the posts, it will hurt them deeply even if they understand why you said what you did.
Humans need connection, and when you’re going through a divorce, your need for connection and validation may lead you to use social media even more. Therefore, it’s important to think before you post. The suggestions below will help you avoid drama and move forward through a difficult time.
- Never post anything to suggest you are not a good parent. Connecting with friends after your divorce is a good idea, but don’t put yourself in a position where someone could take a photo of you after too many drinks or other incriminating evidence that you are not a responsible parent. This can be used against you, especially in a custody battle. You may not have posted it or even known the person who did, but the Internet is NOT PRIVATE.
- Never post anything suggesting you have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Regardless of the reason for your divorce, showing others that you have someone else intensifies hurt and betrayal with your ex, those who love your ex, and your children. If people see you spending money in nice restaurants or traveling to exotic places with someone new, it could worsen your financial situation during divorce proceedings.
- Never say something on social media you wouldn’t want shared with the world. It only takes one person to see something ugly you posted or expose a lie. What’s said on social media starts drama in families, especially when there is high conflict over the separation or divorce.
- Never bad mouth your ex. What you say about your ex hurts the children the most. Lawyers and judges work with situations like this every day; if they see your posts are toxic, they will assume you talk like that to your children or are vengeful and unstable. If you need to talk to someone about your ex, choose a therapist.
- Never post anything that makes you look unstable. Seeing a therapist is a wonderful choice when you’re going through a divorce. Therapy helps you think more clearly and behave more rationally. It offers you emotional support when you need it most. However, this information should stay with you and your therapist. Posting details about your work in therapy is not a wise choice. It can easily be misinterpreted or taken out of content.