The thought of re-sparking a relationship with romance always sounds good, but many feel too tired, overwhelmed, or stressed to even get started. It’s not just time or kids that robs couples of the romance in their relationship, it’s the settling into routine and comfort. Although many partners want to please their partner and feel passionate about each other again, they tell themselves it’s impossible or put it off for another day. Although passion and desire change over time and children can present a challenge, it isn’t impossible to instill romance back into a relationship.
There isn’t a one size fits all method for reigniting romance. Each of these romantic ideas involves you taking time, choosing something meaningful to both you and your partner, and valuing it enough to preserve it. After all, many people remember something as simple as how their partner use to look at them or the way they listened to their every word.
- Write and frame a list of “Things I Love about You.” It can be 10 things – it can be 100 things. The point is that this takes time, energy, and thought. Check for spelling errors. Then take it and have it professionally framed. Wrap it and give it to your partner at the end of a long, exhausting day.
- Engrave a piece of jewelry or something they cherish. Many couples I counsel share quotes or inspirations from their wedding vows or their life together. When you take the time to engrave something so meaningful to the two of you, you’re telling your partner, “We are in this relationship together for life.”
- Create a video of highlights that happened during your relationship. The partner who makes a video of their highlights spends a lot of time reviewing the heart and soul of their married life together. You’ll find yourself developing more appreciation for your partner while creating the video. Creating the video tells your partner you would marry them all over again. Watching the video together will remind you both of the significance and mission of the marriage.
- Plan an entire day of thoughtful activities. When you put effort into filling a day with everything possible to make your partner feel special, you’re demonstrating the priority your partner holds in your heart. After all, time is the most precious of all gifts. Begin the day with taking care of the kids so your partner can sleep in. Leave a card on a nearby nightstand and tell them they have an appointment at the spa, golf range, or whatever brings your partner joy. While your partner is gone, get the kids involved with cleaning up the house. Go the grocery store and have your kids help pick out the foods your partner appreciates. You can include a date night in the evening (have a sitter scheduled) or enjoy each other at home.
Marriage is an incredible lifestyle choice. Two people vow to love, honor, and serve each other until death do they part. That sounds wonderful until you add work, finances, children, and the unexpected ups and downs of life. Taking time to remind the person you vowed to love and cherish how much you value being their partner is what creating romance is all about. –Mary Jo Rapini