When we hear the word outsourcing, we usually think about business practices. If a business doesn’t have the specialists it needs to do a particular job, it may outsource it to another business that does. Outsourcing can bring new ideas and efficiency to a business or even help a business expand. However, trying to outsource in your personal relationships is not a wise idea. As boundaries between work and personal life have become more and more blurred, many people are trying to fill a void in their relationships.
Couples who have repeated, unresolved conflict, become more resentful of their partners. When they don’t feel fulfilled, they may seek out a friend or companion (often in the workplace) to avoid feeling lonely, angry, unloved, or unappreciated. This leads to even more distance between partners. Over time, what seems like an innocent way to soothe feelings of worthlessness or loneliness can turn into a highly erotic emotional affair.
Keep in mind, it’s not only the marriage getting damaged. It includes the person being used or “outsourced” for intimacy. This third-party person enables the tryst by listening and empathizing instead of directing them to a therapist or back to their partner. Although their intention may be benevolent, the consequences are dire.