Frequency of sex, poor listening

Dear Mary Jo,

How important is the frequency of sex to your mental health?

Thank you,

Lance

Dear Lance,

An active sex life has many physical and emotional benefits. It Improves sleep as well as disease prevention, and improves your overall sense of well being. An active sex life decreases your risk of psychiatric illness, stress, depression and suicide. Sexual satisfaction is also associated with stability of your relationship, increasing communication as well as listening skills. An active sex life increases the cycle of feeling loved and doing the behaviors that demonstrate love. The greatest benefits from sex happen with a stable and emotionally connected relationship.

Dear Mary Jo,

What do you do if your husband has a hard time listening?

Thanks,

Bev

Dear Bev,

This is a common problem among couples and it requires both of you to change the way you communicate with each other.

  1. Begin this plan by making changes in yourself. When your husband talks to you, look up, close your book or shut the TV off and listen to him completely before you respond.
  2. Find a place to talk to him where he won’t be distracted. Face-to-face conversation feels more intense, and guys may get more defensive. Sitting side-by-side works better especially with hot topics. This is one reason car trips are a great place to visit.
  3. Keep the conversation on track. Going back to the past shuts them down. Guys want to fix the problem, so the less detail the better.
  4. Monitor your own “hot buttons.” If you’re stressed out, shelf the discussion to another time.
  5. Blaming doesn’t work for men or women so taking responsibility for how you feel with “I statements” enhances your partner’s receptiveness to what you’re saying.
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